Malone's Bar and Grill

Friday night's group: Me and two chicks
Time of arrival: 10:15 pm
Wait time: None

The CSUF guitar recital was last Friday so I invited a couple of girls to see me play. The two are actually sisters and I hadn't seen either of them since the summer so I figured it would be a good chance for us to catch up. The show wrapped up around 9:30 pm and the other guitarists and I were hanging out in the green room when one of the guys said, "Anyone down for pizza and beer?" Approval was unanimous; I think someone clapped.

I headed out to the hallway and told the girls about the plan. The response was not what I expected; they both looked confused.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Jessica, the older one, says, "We were supposed to go see Janna's band, remember?"

I guess I had one of those "Oh !@#$" moments. Janna is our mutual friend and she's the drummer in a classic rock band. I had put off going to her shows because I'm not really into that genre anymore, but I promised her I'd go this time so she'd get off my back. Unfortunately, Jess and Erica had commited to it too so I had to turn my boys down. Because there are so few guitar majors at CSUF, we're like family and it was tough to say no to them because we always have fun. But in my defense, the girls were cute and I was horny that night.

So we carpool to a place called Malone's Bar and Grill in the Santa Ana/Costa Mesa area. Pretty tough place to find because it's literally on the side of a shopping plaza and facing in a different direction from all the other businesses. Anyway, the front is average-looking and there's just the one bouncer but he was friendly. As soon as I stepped past the threshold, I immediately regretted it. The music was loud and incomprehensible, it was too crowded so most people had to stand, and everyone in the joint was older. By older, what I really mean is old, as in 40 and over. Hell, besides Janna, everyone in the band was in their 50's, which explains a lot about the crowd of senior citizens we had to deal with.

The dance floor in front of the stage was packed with inappropriately-dressed older women who were trying a little too hard to look sexy. Ever seen an old, bald white guy with a beer-gut try to get his freak on with two old Mexican women with equally large bellies? I wish I hadn't, and now I can't seem to erase that image from my memory. We spent most of the time avoiding that area by standing next to the bar catching up with Janna's mom and other acquaintances. Occasionally, old creepers would try to chat up one of my girls when I wasn't looking but they were easily dealt with. All it takes is a smartass comment about hip replacements, cardiac arrest, or Viagra.

The band finally had a break around 11 so we took the opportunity to say hi to Janna and then made our excuses to take off. She was disappointed we were leaving so early but she should consider herself lucky we showed up at all. I'm sure the place might have been more enjoyable on a different night with a different crowd. Unfortunately, it felt like I wasted an hour of my life for nothing. I gave up guaranteed fun with the fellas because I was thinking with my you-know-what instead of my brain.

However, the night was still young so the girls and I went to my place and made the most of it. We had all the ingredients for a good time: ping-pong, leftover steak, jacuzzi, liquor... What more do you need?